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A Dumb(er) Man’s Game

Lloyd & Mary - dumb & dumber movie

Lloyd & Mary - dumb & dumber movieLloyd: “Not good, as in 1 in 100?”

Mary: “I’d say more like 1 in a million”

Lloyd: “So you’re saying there’s a chance?’ ‘Yeahhhh!”

quick drawIn reality, the chances of you winning the lottery is a mere 1 in 175 million. So, while yes, you can argue there is a chance…is there really? Millions of people, including Lloyd, believe they will be that one lucky winner. Really? Come on. GET A GRIP PEOPLE! You are more likely to have picked a perfect NCAA bracket, become an astronaut, find a four-leaf clover, or (unfortunately) be murdered than win last weekend’s Powerball payout.

Now, I know we all want to believe that we can beat the odds; and trust me I have done it too. I’ll be that one girl sitting at the bar, counting out dollar bills to play just one game of quick draw. You know, “Just so I can be the one to buy the next round.” So, you sit patiently, pretending to engage in meaningless bar talk while you’re really staring at that small little TV out of the corner of your eye. The countdown begins and then “Shhhh quick draw is on!”…Um If I’m not mistaken I’m pretty sure there’s no sound when the numbers start to appear on the screen. But, for that one minute it’s as if your world is about to end if you don’t get those five stupid numbers to pop up on that screen.

lottery ballsThe first time you win, you’re always saying, “Why not? I’m on fire right now. I just won 100 pennies, just think of the endless possibilities.” But, as soon as you start winning, you start losing even more, until you lose just about everything. Then, after a couple of drinks, you get to that point during your night where you find yourself crawling around your car looking for loose change. You can’t even afford to have another drink because you are so fixated on winning just one more round. And this, my friends, is where it all starts. It’s like drugs; once the soft stuff just isn’t strong enough for your liking, you have to go for something more intense.

So, people turn to the lottery; because, hey, you never know. But, a New York State Powerball ticket costs $2.00. Now, I remind you that your chance of winning is just 1 in 175 million. So, every time you buy a ticket, just think that this is money you are simply throwing away. You are probably never going to even come remotely close to winning, and I put that probably in there for all you crazy people that still are like, “Yeah..but what if?” You know what, I hate to be a pessimist, but as Lloyd said, “What was all this one in a million talk.” So, don’t go sh*tting your money away. Invest in your future. Become a DINC today.

[photos: beatthelotto.com; questnny.com; anyclip.com]

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